Throwback Thursday: Movie 43

Movie 43 it an utterly horrible movie lacking anything that might make it worth while.

courtesy photo

Movie 43 it an utterly horrible movie lacking anything that might make it worth while.

Doug Laman, Movie Critic

Whenever I started this column, I thought its give me a chance to review movies from yesteryear that I wouldn’t get a chance to review under regular circumstances. But now, I’m reviewing a film that came out in January 2013, a month shy of a full year into my Red Ledger Film Critic career, and a film that arrived on Netflix just last October. But then again, Movie 43 isn’t your ordinary movie. This film, comprised of several different vignettes featuring famous actors in extremely R-rated scenarios, was supposed to break new ground in cinematic comedies. The only thing it broke instead were human spirits; the film got a lowly D Cinemascore upon its release and its Rotten Tomatoes score (3 percent) makes Adam Sandler’s films look like the work of Lars Von Trier.

But putting aside the hype, it must be said that Movie 43 is engrossing (emphasis on gross), mainly for all the wrong reasons. To put it into perspective, this is the kind of film that thinks homosexual behavior in and of itself is supposed to be humorous, even more so when it’s Dennis Quaid, as a desperate screenwriter whose concocted much of the vignettes that comprise the film; which include one where a cartoon cat falls in love with Josh Duhamel and one where Justin Long plays a version of Robin that’s been arrested on a sex crime. Such situations sound more fun than they actually are, as the film’s tendency to present much of these scenes in the blandest way possible robs it of any potential to be funny. The first of these segments, detailing Hugh Jackman having a ball with Kate Winslet on a date, is a great example of this. It should have been comedic gold, especially since Jackman’s been more than capable of bringing the laughs in various other productions. But it just falls flat, as it’s extremely obvious male genitalia jokes feel overly predictable, not to mention it just abruptly ending.

Things never get much better, as soon Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts are off homeschooling their teenage son in the most screwed up way possible. Here, the film finds (as ridiculous as it sounds) minor success, as the segment takes the cliches of every high school set movie and places the kids parents in various high school archetypes (Schreiber is given the chance to play both a bully and a hard-as-nails coach, while Watts plays the host of a party and the boys first love). It’s not gut-bustingly hilarious, but it’s the closest thing the movie has to an intentionally humorous escapade. Its successes are only exemplified when compared to a segment involving Gerard Butler as two leprechauns, who enact violent revenge on Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville. It’s overly apparent lunacy is to be admired, but that’s about it; the bit just falls flat.

The film just continues to flail around, looking for anything that could possibly be used  to eat up more time. The worst offender of this is an entire section designated to a plot involving Emma Stone running into her ex-boyfriend at a grocery store, which doesn’t even have a plot, just trying-too-hard raunchy dialogue. And yet, I couldn’t manage to look away; I knew this was awful beyond all description, yet seeing Stone trying to defend her past sexual acts is a cinematic sight I’d never see, right alongside Harrison Ford smiling and Terrence Malick appearing on-camera. This kind of mesmerizing gusto is even given to Richard Gere, whose music device, iBabe, is under many lawsuits in another segment. Gere was reportedly the one celebrity who really wanted out of this mess and it shows; I honestly thought he was on some kind of medication during his entire zoned-out performance.

And of course, you wouldn’t expect this production to go without some racial humor right? Terrence Howard’s coaching of a basketball team leads into a single joke run into the ground. And as for an aforementioned segment involving R-rated Batman shenanigans, it’s sole saving grace is that it is funny to hear the woman who helped bring some of Frozen’s most beloved songs to life, Kristen Bell, say all of the absolutely filthy things she’s given here.

This movie is bad, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad. Little redeeming value can be found in it’s scattershot segments and it’s repetitive humor, but the sight of seeing these famous faces in such an atrocious film does have it’s charms, however minor they may be. Movie 43 deserves a place alongside Mac & Me, Troll 2 and Birdemic as bad films that ensure success because everything is so awful. Despite my F grade, I do heartily recommend you watch this one, if only for the shock value that will doubtlessly create riveting conversation for years to come.